New Year, New Me

Here we go 2017, like it or not, 2016 is over.  You have things to come to terms with as the year closes.  You have proud moments and shameful, embarrassing ones.  Maybe you accomplished a goal, or 10, or none.  Maybe you’re sad to see 2016 go, or maybe you are in a sad and depressed state hoping 2017 will treat you better.

What can you do, say and remember in order to do your part in making sure next year is a memorable one?  How can you turn 2017 into a year that you look back on and say, “What an amazing year of growth, love, and change in the direction of my heart.”  or something like that.

You’re going to have to rewind 2016 and remember the things that made you sad, hurt your heart, stalled your growth, and kept you feeling stagnant.  Then you are going to have to put a name to exactly who or what evoked those unwanted feelings, and then you have to decide if you like those things, and people more than your own well being.

If you decide in favor of your own well being, and have decided to go into  the new year a few things and people lighter, then I would like to share with you the things that help me most.

I’m no Oprah, therapist, or rich and famous somebody.  I’m just a humble and happy housewife that use to look more like a severely depressed, sometimes suicidal, anxious, irritated, alcoholoic/drug addict, whom was eager to be hateful with my words.

One book, one thought, one therapy session, one word, one goal, one quote, one yoga session, and one belief at a time I decided that I wanted to feel different, I decided I was worth it, and I decided to just move forward in the direction of my heart one breath at a time.

If you are feeling stuck, (like we all do at times) and are ready to ride this wave of new energy into 2017, then I have a few helpful words in my self help stash that you may, or may not be helpful.

As always, take what works for you and leave the rest behind.

 

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New Year, New Me

Not a smoker?  Move on to next section. 😉

I don’t feel like googling, but if I had to guess, quitting smoking is probably amongst the top 3 resolutions made.  And, it’s probably the hardest to break as well.  I had my first drag of a cigarette when I was 11 years old.  We’d take turns stealing our parents cigs and sneak to the woods for our after school smoke sessions.  Yes, 11.  I have struggled to quit off and on until as of late.  I was always able to release my addiction with pregnancies and breast feeding, but as soon as the baby was done with me, back to smoking I’d go.

It was my best friend, confidant, go to stress reliever, security blanket, and it was also killing my body and spirit.

Smoking is no doubt a love/hate relationship, or at least it was for me.

I no longer smoke, and I don’t miss it.  I’ve quit 100 times, and have always missed it. I missed the taste, smell, and insta gratification it brought, or at least I thought I did.

Until I read, Allen Carr’s, The Easy Way to Stop Smoking.  He gives you the mental tools you need to put in your tool box, and hammer away at this addiction.  I could not recommend it more highly.  Buy it, read it, and read it again.  Make sure you seal the info in your mind and power yourself with enough knowledge and understanding to commit to this goal, and never look back.

You don’t have to quit before you read the book.  In fact, he encourages you to “enjoy” your habit as you read and release the need to see smoking as enjoyable.

Cancer, and disease is hard, quitting is not.  Decide you are worth reading a measly old book and give it a shot.  What have you got to lose?  Or, better yet, what have you to gain?

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So, what is your goal?  Have you wrote it down?  What’s your goal feel like?  How will it feel to let the words slip out that you accomplished it?  Do you notice how reaching it will benefit others?  Do you feel bigger, better, and brighter just thinking about achieving it?

Let all those feelings of accomplishment build and then maybe create a vision board, meditate on those thoughts 5 minutes everyday, write or draw about it everyday, talk about one thing that will bring you closer to it everyday, and keep those feelings alive and thriving with new questions on how you can get there from here while living in gratitude for where you are and the process it takes to get there.

Have you told someone you trust to encourage you towards this goal?  Have you made small actionable steps that can lead you there?  Have you found quotes to write down, hang up, sticky note and tattoo on your body that will help fuel your mind with hope and courage?

Have you found a therapist or life coach to help you sort out the thoughts that keep resurfacing causing you discomfort, and stagnation?  Have you found a way to release your doubts and fears surrounding the situation so that you may focus on what will get you there, instead?

Have you found a mentor or idol that has accomplished a similar goal, and picked their brain, blog or book apart, finding all of the pieces that will help you put your own puzzle together?

Have you started to get to know yourself more deeply through journaling?  Maybe spend 5 minutes a day connecting with your worries and wants, and then allow solutions, insight or peace to come to mind after.

Do you think maybe committing to a book a week on a relatable topic instead of a Netflix serious could be life changing?

Do you have a plan?  A planner?  Maybe a Passion Planner or Happiness Planner could help you create a plan.  Google them, buy one, you’re welcome.

Do you know how amazing it feels to get the proper amount of water and nutrients in you?  Your body and mind comes to life a little more with each drink and eachbite.  Chug 8 oz-8 x’s a day, drink a green smoothie, and stay out of the drive thru’s.  You are what you eat, eat food that is alive and well, so you know what that feels like.  One healthy decision at a time, that’s all.

Have you realized that you are not giving up anything, but in fact gaining many amazing things by letting go of what you are trying to release?

Have you decided that you want to know and feel the gratification that comes from reaching your goal?

Have you decided that you, your life, your wants, your needs and your dreams are worth trying day after day after day?  Because, time will pass anyway, goals or not, dreaming or not, believing or not, it’s coming and going, ebbing and flowing, and you’re either creating better days to come with the day you have now, or you are adding to your future pain.  And, that’s the harsh reality of being human.

Ask yourself questions, and give yourself time to answer them.

Make healthy habits and fulfilling routines come to life ONE good decision at a time.

Surround yourself with things and people that will encourage you towards the goodness you seek, or find the words that speak to your heart in a book or a blog, and marinate in them as often as possible until they soak into your being and become who you are.

And, when you want to stop or give up:

Write yourself a letter, pour out your heart, write down the pain that you’re trying to transform, put your heartbreak on paper, and then write down how you want to transform that.

Remind yourself of how you want to feel, what you want to know, and what is possible with a little effort.  Put your pen to paper and pick your favorite uplifting quotes and advice that moves you when you read them, then read that sh*t everyday, every bad moment and every time you want to give up.

Remember and feel the heartbreak and guilt behind your bad decisions, and ask yourself is what you’re about to do worth taking a step back towards that, or would it feel a hell of a lot better if you took a deep breath, and took a step forward.

Shed your old skin, right now!  You don’t have to own your past mistakes, short comings and fails.  You can learn from them, thank them for teaching you, and decide that even though it happened, it doesn’t have to keep happening, and you don’t have to keep participating.  Crawl out of your old skin so that you can crawl into bed with success and love.

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I hope you make it.  I hope you find love.  I hope you find ways to love yourself.  I hope you open yourself up to possibility.  And, I hope that you trust yourself enough to take the steps, read the words, let go of the old and embrace the new.  Old is familiar, it’s comfortable and it’s easy.  But, are you happy?

And, if at the end of the year the goal is not 100% accomplished, I hope you can look in the mirror and love the hell out of yourself and your efforts, anyway.

The reality is that we are all on our way to our grave.  Are you going with guilt and sadness of what could have been, or are you going there with the amazing memories you chose to create in tow?

Are you taking your cigs, cupcakes, and crass remarks with you on the way out, or are you taking the soul you built up, and the heart you filled up while you were here?

You can’t control the details, others, circumstances, sudden loss, reasons to grieve or unforeseen obstacles.  But, you can control what you do with your time in between.  You can control how much strength you have to put into your fight.

You can decide that you are worth handling such things with a little more grace, a little more compassion a little more forgiveness, understanding, and a little more self love.

You can choose to enjoy a New Year and a New You, or you can just repeat last year, and the year before.  Whatever feels good, do that.  And then pass on the good vibes for brownie points.

Happy New Years to you.  I hope you ride the energy wave in like a boss ready to find your flow, learning to bend not break as you create the content, calm, kind, abundant, fulfilling life you crave and desire.

In Love,

Danielle

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“Your beliefs become your thoughts,
Your thoughts become your words,
Your words become your actions,
Your actions become your habits,
Your habits become your values,
Your values become your destiny.”
Mahatma Gandhi

 

I wrote my self a love letter as suggested by an old life coach a couple of years ago.  I pull it out when I’m feeling stuck and down on myself.  I must continue to acknowledge my downfalls as I continue to climb towards my goals of leaving this world a better place one word, one breath, one act of love at a time.  I encourage you to write one and pull it out when you need reminded of your worth and your reasons as you move through this next year.  Namaste

 

Dear Danielle, My Bell

What can Isay to help propel you into a life where you feel happy, healthy, whole and well?

How may I lead you to your fairy tale?

I want you to dance, laugh and sing.

I want you to know you are amazing.

I want you to find kindness wherever you go.

I want you to love reaping what you sew.

I want love to be your intentions and your wishes.

I want love to be the motivator behind your every decision.

I want love to be your purpose, passion, and mission.

Because, love is the ultimate ruler of health, happiness, and wisdom.

You are one of God’s perfect miracles.

Your presence here is biblical.

Nothing about your life is typical.

Use your thoughts and gratitude to make life magical and mystical.

Think and thank your way to healthy, happy, and whole.

Let love be what molds you and unfolds for you that which is yet to be untold.

Oh, Dear Danielle, My Bell be fearless, be brave, be bold,

and know that the love in your heart will be the force that leads you to your goals.

~~Danielle Atherton-Rutledge~~

 

 

 

 

 

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