From owning to accepting my mistakes

Mistakean error in action, calculation, opinion, or judgment caused by poor reasoning, carelessness, insufficient knowledge, etc.

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You know when certain words make you feel all tingly inside?  Me, too, but mistake is not one of them.  The word mistake makes me cringe, turn my head away, and retract into myself instantly.

That’s how powerful words are btw: say them, feel them, use them if they yield amazing feelings.  Discard, replace, or be sure to end on words that restore positive vibrations in your body when done conversing about said mistakes or other low vibration words.

Anywho, I made a mistake the other day.  A simple mistake, but being the accountable person I am I owned that sh*t.  And my tummy dropped, chest sank, soul crushed…..gasp, “I made a mistake.  I’m not perfect? OMG, I’m not perfect.  Why am I not perfect?!  Why did I have to f*ck up?”  Mind you, I’m in chronic pain from an injury and not sleeping much, so I’m a little sensitive if I do say so myself.  So, yes, I was being a little dramatic.  I know-weird.

 

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But, there I was beating the living crap out of myself for this mistake:  “How could I?  Why would I?  I’m sure words are being spread.  I hate (another ugly word) that others know I made this mistake, they must think I’m stupid, and awful, and horrible, and a terrible human…..” there I was with all of these low vibration words, mentally berating myself, feeling like someone had just ran me over with their car when I finally did silence.

What was my mistake in handling my mistake?  Because there is no excuse for me or you to feel like a low life over a simple mistake, or any mistake, really.  And, I know plenty of people who beat themselves up just the same if not worse.  Where are we going wrong?

First of all, I owned my mistake.  Sounds like a good idea.  I’ve always prided myself in taking accountability.  I know first hand that problems will not be solved and growth will not occur if you do not acknowledge that you were, in fact, an a**hole and want to do better.  But, I internalize, that is different, and that is when I feel my stomach drop and chest sink.  I’ve now housed the mistake and given it a home in my body, and it quickly clutters my mind and drags me down.  Make sense?

So, owning mistakes is no good, it’s not working for me, in fact, it’s deteriorating my mind, and making me feel less awesome by the minute to do so.  Instead, I will try to accept the mistake.  It’s there, it happened, I did it, but I am not the mistake.  I do not have to put it in my pocket and carry it around with me.  The mistake is not mine, it just happened.  The mistake does not need to tattoo itself on my forehead as my newest worry line.   Duh!!  Totally helpful mini or mega realization I had.

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All of these years I feel like I have been claiming these mini mess-ups and carrying them around with me.  Adding them to my repertoire as if they were different shades of blue and I was about to paint The Starry Night.  No, owning mistakes has not done me any favors.  It has not painted any pretty pictures in my mind of who I am or who I want to be.

 

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I love how a simple shift in your perspective can change your life.  Because, I can handle accepting my mistakes.  I can handle knowing I experienced what imperfect feels like, but I can’t handle being and housing the imperfection itself.  It’s weighing me down to do so.  My body feels heavy when I own stuff that’s not mine.  I prefer the light, spacious, kind environment.  I think I’ll remember to accept that it happened, and that I experienced it, but not accept it as apart of who I am.  That feels so much betta.

Do you agree?  Doesn’t it feel good to change your internal dialogue?  Can’t you feel yourself lighten as you release that which does not serve you?  Do it often!  What other words, mistakes, things are you owning and internalizing that you could let go of or change?

Example:  I use to tell myself working out was hard and I hated that my body would shake and tremble.  Then I bought a yoga bundle off  CodyApp.com with Meghan Currie (highly recommend) and she said something like, “just shake, calibrate and enjoy the fruits of your labor, tell yourself you like it, love it, enjoy it, until you do.”  And, I was like, “duh!!  Why have I always told myself working out was a hassle, that I hated sweating, and being fit was hard?  It releases endorphins, it tones, lifts, strengthen, defines, and nourishes my body, mind, and soul.  I love looking good and feeling good, why did I ever think this sucked?”

Her simple words changed my mind so easily.  From that moment on yoga was effortlessly infused into every morning, noon, and night that I could, hip willing. I shook, calibrated, and soaked up all of the goodness I made my own damn self, everyday.   Just like that, I changed my mind, and changed my life.

 

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Yoga has picked me up and put me back together too many times to count.  I use to drink almost nightly at times just to unwind.  My anxiety use to get the best of me more often than not, depression was my go to emotion, energy levels were much lower, routines were non-existent, drugs and alcohol were always my go to stress relievers, and then I found yoga.  If I would have decided to continue thinking that caring for my body was a hassle, I would have missed out on so many amazing moments of clarity, calm, and self love.

Aren’t words and yoga amazing?  How awesome is it that you can change the way you look at things, so the things you look at begin to change, and so your life, and the way you experience it begins to change?……or, something like that.  Say what you mean and mean what you say,  and never be afraid to change how you use your words and the definition of who you are.

 

With Love in mind,

Danielle Atherton-Rutledge

 

 

Why am I Facebooking?

I think it’s safe to say that Facebook/social media is here to stay.  I’m pretty sure it’s no longer a fad, but rather a way of life:  Have you Facebooked, Instagrammed, or Tweeted today?

I’m guilty of using social media “all wrong.”  So I have questions for myself before I post?  Although, I am still very capable of over reacting, and getting lost in the emotion of the moment, and typing things I’m not proud of.  Such is adulting in 2016.

I’ll let you know when I’ve become the Social Media super star we all think we are.  Until then, I’ll keep asking myself these questions, and hope I take a deep breath, and choose better with every post, thought, comment, and like to come.

Why exactly did you log on to social media right now?

1~Are you here to connect?  Remember who you are connecting to.  Remember that your ex high school sweetheart, neighbor, grandma and the new girl at work are all hear ready to connect or disconnect from you.

2~Are you here to inform?  If so remember to inform in a way that is helpful.  Think of how you learn best, what tones and texts you like to read and learn from.

3~Maybe, just to say hi world, I’m here, do you see me, do you love me, am I important, do you care?  If so, that’s ok, too.

4~Or, are you here to be the one that says hi, you are important, you matter and I love you? ~Because people need that, and you.

5~Are you here because you are bored with life, and can’t think of anything else in this whole world that could make you smile other than logging on?  Because, if facebook is filled with negative Nancys, and pissy Pollys remember you’re welcome to seek connection, and knowledge elsewhere.  Maybe a phone call to a good friend, writing a thank you card, or reading that dusty book might do you better.

6~Are you here silently stalking everyone, judging, shaming, gossiping, and belittling?  Why?  Creepy.  Don’t be a stalker.  Interact.  Say hi.  Send love.  Be nice.  Super easy.  You can do it.

7~Are you here to boast and brag or share out of love?

8~Will you be seeking advice, or finding and reading the words you are  hoping will ignite a spark in you?  Facebook isn’t going to spoon feed you happiness.  Again, maybe dust off that book or Amazon Prime the newest read, and help yourself.

9~Are you here to type words that have helped you smile, and feel better about yourself, and life?  Share all the good things.  If you’re able to send good vibes and advice out to hundreds or more via a quick click, why not?

10~Will telling Facebook about your problems solve them?  Or, how about a quick journal sesh or phone sesh with your mom before you log on?  You know, let out that angst before you share it with your cousins, uncles and acquaintances via the FB.

11~Will your social media rant fix the person, place or thing?  I’m going to go ahead and take a wild guess and assume it’s most likely going to make it worse, or awkward, or definitely seen by people who will judge you for it, so, again, maybe call your sister and let it all out before you let FB have it.

12~Can you accept that once you hit post, any and every person on this planet now has access to what you have shared?

~Including your mom, grandpa and daughter.  Because, even though you are aloud to hit delete and change your mind about who you are, we all know nothing is permanently deleted, somehow that stuff always resurfaces.

13~Can you say that what you are sharing is you finding one more small way of being the change you wish to see?  Because, we all know that you are effecting the way people feel via a measly post.  You are evoking feelings within others as you type and share.  Cool and creepy.  Use wisely.

14~Do you understand that all people you communicate with are subject to take every word you type out of context, and hold it against you for the rest of your life?

~Because, people do that.

16~Are you quietly enjoying watching friends, and family grow, love, live, travel, enjoy, and human the best they know how?  Then, you my friend are winning at this whole FB thing.

17~Are you an encourager, cheerleader, lover, giver, helper, supporter and sweet Social Media addition?  Yay, you.  Keep hitting that like and love button and letting people know you see them, hear them, and appreciate them.

18~Are you promoting your talents, blessings, and beautiful moments?  Because, you are amazing, and you should share all the goodness that is you.  People love to see you succeed at what you love.

19~Are you going to share that informational/educational/controversial article?

Provide knowledge out of kindness with an open mind and take the fear and anxiety out of the conversation.  Don’t add to people’s fear and anxiety.  Give them guidance and encouragement to open and learn.

20~Do you notice the opportunity that you have to share, and multiply love, or hate on an insurmountable level because of social media?

21~Are you going to be accountable, and remember that every action, everything you read, every post, what you eat, what you consume, every word, every moment takes you closer towards the brilliant, beautiful and bountiful human you are, or further away from it?

~Your words create your world.  Facebook, Instagram and Tweet accordingly.

In Love,

Danielle

Photo: Renee Atherton